She Was That Girl.

The one you really loved. The one you meant to propose to but it was so obvious you were going to get married that you never got round to it. And then it happened. Whatever happens to people happened to you. Something to do with growing older. You woke up one morning and felt very tired. You felt the same the next day. It dawned on you, slowly, that you would feel this way for the rest of your life. You looked different in the mirror; your eyes looked like those of somebody you cross paths with in town. Let’s be honest. Miserable eyes. Somebody at work laughed and said ‘If you’re not a communist when you’re twenty then  you’ve got no heart but if you’re not a capitalist when you’re forty you’ve got no brain.’ When you really thought about it you didn’t know what love was. You went out drinking with some friends and saw a girl at the bar. She looked like your girlfriend used to look. You felt something. A dry grain of rice fell down inside you. Maybe that was love. You didn’t know. You just couldn’t get a handle on it. Maybe the reason that love was so hard to define was that it was so very small. Maybe it was barely anything. Barely there. Maybe, being so close to nothing, love could actually be an easy thing to feel. Maybe it would be easy enought to love everybody. All of the time. If you could only work out how. You went home again. Your girlfriend was already asleep. It was Friday. You didn’t have to get up for work in the morning. You went to the bathroom. You went into the kitchen. You could have stayed up all night if you wanted to.

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4 Responses to “She Was That Girl.”

  1. I love this! Especially the end. I love the image of “you went to the bathroom. You went to the kitchen. You could have stayed up all night if you wanted to.” I know that feeling. Restlessly listless.

  2. I love this, it’s beautiful. I love the dry grain of rice, what an unusual image, but so apt I felt. Great piece

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