Hunting (Passive)

I want a new job. If you have a job that I could do, please let me know. I can do a lot of things. I am flexible and bland enough to be whatever you want or need me to be. But there are conditions.

 I’m looking for a well-paid job, by which I mean a job that pays over £18000 annually. I want to be able to do it from home, in my own time. And I want it to be enjoyable work, too, and not too difficult. I don’t want it to take up much of my time. In fact, it would be really good if I could spend the majority of my working hours furthering my own personal projects or engaging in past-times that I enjoy. Furthermore – a sizeable pension would be much appreciated.

If anybody can offer me such a position then I’ll gladly consider it.

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10 Responses to “Hunting (Passive)”

  1. Have you tried Town Planning eyyyyyyy

    • fellhouse Says:

      Town planning… yes, I could do that. I think I’d enjoy it. Would you pay me? If you pay me, I think I could plan a town over the next week or so. How hard can it be? The more I think about it, the more it sounds like a suitable job opportunity. What features does a successful town need, if any?

      Suggestions welcome from all readers…

  2. Richard W Says:

    First and foremost, some sort of nuclear arsenal. Second, a well guarded wall, with spikes. Third, a great golden statue to the planner who created it.

    See – planning is easy when you know how. Though I worry your damned sense of ethics may prove a slight handicap.

  3. Planning is very easy, after all, they let Rich do it. They pay him a pittance though. That gives a small clue to the amount of responsibility.

  4. I like your suggestions for the town Dick. Is that the kind of town that’s going to sprout up around Allerdale now you’re exerting your influence? Complete with statues of you?

    I could quite happily go for the complete dissolution of centralised national government right now actually. Going hand-in-hand with the complete dissolution of nations full stop. Forget countries, bring on the townships! Make migrants of us all (I was born in Worcester, but work in Warrington… stealing jobs from those Warrington people!) and at the same time re-invigorate local customs and cultures. Then I could have ethical towns with open doors and a complete ban on firearms and blades, and you could have your towns with big spiky walls and nuclear arsenals and… oh.

    Damn.

  5. And in response to Kirkby’s post – I’d happily accept a wage of over £18000 for little responsibility.

    In fact responsibility is the last thing I want.

    Perfect!

  6. Richard W Says:

    Town Planning is a very healthy thing to aspire to Fletcher. But yes…. your pussy-ass towns that you paint such a wonderful picture of would be crushed under the might of those planned by us real planners.

  7. I guess it’s just a sad truth that the world would be a wonderful place if it wasn’t for cretinous, opportunistic bastards.

  8. Yeah, bloody public. They should just accept that we know what’s best and roll with it.

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